the jump
clammy hands
streams running down an innocent's face
--cause and component indistinguishable

"should i take the jump?"

eyes not fixed
--nauseating height,
falling rocks, not hearing its ends,
feet, almost drawn to the end of the cliff
--beautiful scenery behind,
bright-colored flowers of every kind, beautiful..
a man reaching out his hand
--dim and deep place,
unfathomable..
lurking man hiding behind his voice, authoritative yet mild

"come and take my hand..
all life's beauty lies beyond the horizon of this seeming perfection..
--no room for hunger nor thirst
--life's pleasures provided
--personal desires fulfilled
--wishes and dreams, destined to come true
--all your, in exchange for your soul."

"son..take the jump
believe and have faith
i never forsake my beloved
i never bring my children to chaos unarmed
i never let go
i just love..
take the jump son..."

flowers seem pedestal of life,
endless depth, so scary..
bright light look fame and wealth,
dim, almost darkness, nothingness..
unseen end of glamour brings power,
destination, uncertain..
tangible man makes offer strong to trust,
voice, shaky and risky..

"just give me your all!"

"i give you my all!"

fear into joy but still, unsure..
convinced beyond invisibility..
a soul so willing,
a flesh so weak..
overwhelmed and with love ablaze..


silence...

a voice of surrender fills the air..

the cry
Mood:  on fire
one
two
three...blahg!

i hear myself make the noise
that rings the bells of everyone at home..

"Papa!"
i cried out loud
He spreads out His arms to carry me
and hush this little kid to comfort..

"when can i learn how to walk without falling?"
"when? i haven't passed where i gone through..
nor have i walked the way i walked before..
'til when do i keep falling?
'til when will i be bruised and scarred?
'til when?"

"when can i be like you grown-ups?
walking fast and slow yet never stumbling?
never wounding their knees?"

bitsy thoughts of despair and longingness..
desperate and longing for
a perfect walk of his life..
thoughts only the heart of a father could hear..
a heartache only a father could feel..
a tear only He can heal..


"hush,My little prince
take my hand
and I'll teach you how to walk..
I'll guide you in every step..
protect you from any harm
nothing's gonna hurt you
as long as I'm by your side..
follow Me and do not be afraid..
I am always with you..

don't envy the grown-ups
for they, too, fall...
they, too, stumble...
wounded, bruised and tear-soaken..
when times get too good
and they forget
the hand they used to hold.."

"is it Papa?
then please take my hand
be my teacher
guide
and protector..
give it Your tightest grip
never let go..
walk with me..
hold my hand..
'til our fingerprints be one..."